The most common question Marian Lamoureux of Hinsdale gets from parents is not about music. It is about practice. How much should they push, how much should they watch, and whether they should be sitting beside the child the whole time.
Her answer changes with the age of the student. It is not the same for a six-year-old and a fourteen-year-old, and parents who use the same approach for both usually run into trouble.
The young student needs a partner
A five or six-year-old cannot run a practice session alone. They do not yet have the focus or the memory to know what they were asked to work on. For these students, a parent in the room is not hovering. It is necessary.
Marian asks parents of young children to sit nearby during practice, not to correct the playing, but to keep the session on track. The parent’s job is to open the notebook, remind the child what the teacher assigned, and keep the practice from drifting into the same favorite piece over and over.
The line she draws is firm. The parent manages the structure. The parent does not become a second teacher. A parent who corrects fingering and hand position from the couch usually creates a tense child and a confused one, because the corrections rarely match what the teacher actually said.
The middle years need a lighter hand
Somewhere around nine or ten, the student should be able to run their own practice. This is the stage where parents most often get the balance wrong, in both directions.
Some parents pull back too early and the practice falls apart. Others stay too involved and the child never learns to manage the work themselves. Marian wants parents to step back gradually here, checking that practice happened without supervising every minute of it.
A useful move at this age is to ask the child to explain what they worked on, rather than watching them do it. If the child can say what the trouble spot was and what they did about it, the practice was real.
The teenager needs to be trusted
By the teenage years, a parent in the practice room is usually a problem. Teenagers want ownership of the work, and they will fight for it whether or not the parent is ready.
Marian tells parents of teenagers to get almost entirely out of the practice itself. The relationship at this age is better served by the parent staying interested without staying involved. Ask what they are learning. Come to the recital. Do not stand in the doorway counting minutes.
The teenager who is allowed to own their practice tends to keep playing. The one who feels managed tends to use the busy schedule as a reason to quit.
The thing every age has in common
Across all of it, Marian asks parents to hold one rule. Do not turn practice into the worst part of the child’s day. A child who associates piano with conflict at home will quit, no matter how talented they are or how good the teacher is.
The parent’s most important job is not to enforce minutes. It is to protect the child’s relationship with the instrument. A calm reminder, a quiet room, and real interest in what the child is working on do more for long-term progress than any amount of pressure.